Anas 的个人资料Amethyst*照片日志列表更多  |  工具 帮助 |
Amethyst*Welcome to my tiny world , where I share my thoughts and memories , I hope you enjoy going through my space, I would appreciate you leaving your comments and please don't forget to sign my guestbook. |
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60 Years of the Palestinian Nakba, 60 Years of Ethnic Cleansing
Marawwah islandThe best experience in the world is leaving all the worries and responsibilities of the city for a couple of days and enjoying the luxury of a private island and being away from people and everything but nature, thanks to everyone who was responsible for this trip and for everyone who came and everyone who did anything including sinking the car in the sea shore mud although it was a hard experience of intensive labor and a tow days job but it’s still amazing and the only thing I missed was fishing on the boat because of the car thing but yeah we used nets. so next time it will be better hopefully. To My Beloved Father
In the dim light of the candle I gaze, staring at a mirror reflecting your face My fingers run in the warmth of waxed glaze, counting the five long years phase Since you left I see life in different ways, I remain uncertain and lost in this maze I recall the last profound words of all the treasures you left me to raise As days pass I undergo nothing novel instead live with lessons you used to portray Like this candle you were the light the warmth to guide my stray Warm tears run down my face as I wonder where there warmth had strayed Every day goes by my eyes open wide to realize what you went through and had to pay Oh dear father the soul is aching to feel your love just one last time in vain No words are enough to repay the debt; no regret is enough to express the pain I feel your presence in my thoughts, my dreams and heart every day So I become certain your alive through my voice my face Till my life takes its sealed path and fades away. picsI found out today that I have an anonymous fan for my site lol so I promised to post some photos for update and don’t get scared because of the green algae tank I don’t grow it to use for sushi its only an experiment and it would make a good healthy natural source of food for my fish specially that they are sick and if u noticed the water is dark that’s because its full of medicine to treat ICH/ICK AnswersSilky white threads dance in the dark writing names as they float to disappear, Drifting in the beauty of the cries of a flute filling the void and tickling the soul Flying beyond dreams far away from our felt world Here in the darkness of the night feeling safe trying to break the chains of imprisonment In a life so empty and hollow, lonely, and lacking certainty Have you ever seen a lost soul while walking down the street? Can you sense the frustrations in others eyes? What is heaven? Is it joy in every flower in every smile or laughter of a child? What is Hell? Is it hate, envy betrayal, or pain in every tear of an old man? Oh the bless of ignorance how I long to you as you lie in the mind of the simple fool Where everything is joyful but nothing more than a sweet lie Why do we seek happiness or drown in sadness if they are nothing but a state of mind? Why do we seek answers when the simple ones can never be found? Can we find the answers only in our greatest fears? So many struggles for meaning for purpose but in the end we find comfort only in each others. Better DaysGlancing the Bright streams of light shining for eternity Where darkness once swamped and pain thrived anonymously A Life no longer filled with sadness and dominated by misery Where strength growing out of my weakness inspires me Braking chains of deceit and manipulations imprisoning me The meaning of living suddenly started making sense to me Hope flourishing within erasing the heavy load I used to carry Not a will to surrender but strength is all what’s motivating me Regained hopes pushing me to jump out of my solitary Taming the ugly depression beast feeding on my soul aggressively Suddenly all started to have a better taste a smell and looks so differently My laughs no longer a reminder of all the wounds my soul had to berry I shall carry on the trip of ups and downs, and life ,the phase of uncertainty. Still I'm SadSee the stars come falling down the sky Gently passing, they kiss your tear drops dry See the wind come, softly blow Your hair from your face And the rain comes falling down In its crazy way Still I'm sad For myself my tears just fall in the dust As I search in the night and find they're lost See the wind come gently blow Time into my heart And the rain comes falling down While were apart Still I'm sad حوار الياليتمضي الأيام وأنا وحيدٌ و حائر أنتظر متلهفاً لقطرة ماءٍ من جمرةٍ كاوية
مللت الصبر و التأني تعبت اليأس و المحاولة
مرت اليالي بطيئة جاحدة لم تعرف أي منها معنى العطاء أو المؤازرة
شكوت لها حزني مسامراً عن آلامي و آهاتي فردت علي متهكمة:
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حاولت أن تطفئ ظمئك راكداً و راء سحابة عابرة لتعرف معنى الإنكار و المخادعة
عرست شجرة عقيمه و سقيتها دمك فأنبتت لك سماً عجاف فكانت قاتلة
دفئت ثعباناً ما عرف يوماً معنى الشكر إلا بلدغة من أنيابه الباردة
أضحيت تبني قصراً من رملٍ كطفلٍ لا يدري أن الأمواج قادمة
أدرت ظهرك لحبيبٍ ناصح مدافعاً عن عدوٍ خصاله الغدر و المراوغة
أضاعك في الصحراء تزحف تائهاً وسط الرمال القاحلة
تسبح وراء السراب مسترشداً بكثبانها فأغديت لعبة مسلية
تستبدل ليمضي عليها الوقت فتمسي مكسورةً و مهملة
تساقط دمعي سخياً و لما خانتني عيناي أجبتها متعجباً:
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كيف لي أن أعلم أن هذا الوجه الجميل و اللسان العذب ما هوإلا قناع يخفي معاني القسوة و الكراهية
كيف لي أن أدرك أن من حميته من الشمس الحارقة سيتركني وحيداً مكسوراً في رياح الشمال الباردة
فردت بعد صمتها المؤنب و أجابت مستعطفة:
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فليكن درساً لك يا أبله القلب في زمن أصبحت فيه العاهرة أميرة مبجلة
فليس من الصعب أن تضحي من أجل إنسان ولكن الصعب أن تجد أنساناَ يستحق التضحية
و أحذر الكريم اذا أهنته و اللئيم إذا أكرمته و الأحمق إذا رحمته
لكن لا تبكي ولا تندم فمحظوظَ من بات مظلوماً عند رب الآخرة
تدور الأيام و الدوائر لتعود على صاحبها فيدرك في يومٍ ما خسرو أن الدنيا غادرة
فوقفت ممتناً و شاكراً بعد أن أدركت أن خادعي ما هو إلا معلمي متخفياً
و أكملت طريقي و حيداً راجياً ربي ان يعفو عنك و لا يذيقك مرار حياتي القاتمة
أنس صدّيق Special thanks.Another year passed I woke up to relies I’m almost a quarter of a century old
I tried to slow down time but it seems so empty stubborn, and can never wait
I thought of who are always beside me and the ones who sold me out.
And To the ones who showed all the love and care in the world I say …….
I Wish I can say anything with my tongue tied unable to reveal appreciation and love hidden inside.
I wish I can scream it out loud and tell the world how lucky I am to have you guys around
You are a gift from god sent from heavens above, to ease life's troubles and turn it into a joyful ride.
I feel so lucky
I feel so proud
I feel so blessed
That I have my family who give unconditional love mothers give since we learn to see the light.
A kind of love fathers share expecting nothing in return but seeing their kids successful on their behalf.
A simple thank you can never be good enough for the warmth and happiness you brought along.
I promise to always be an honest friend, a son, a brother and some one who will never forget.
All the great things you do and say for I shall eternally carry deep within a caring grateful heart.
Please forgive me if I’m unable to tell you how much you mean and how life would be so hard without you all by my side.I pray that I will never lose you and that we stay together for the rest of life PleaseMoments of joy Moments of peace Moments of serenity Oh please come back to me. I've been imprisoned here for infinity. Did I find the spark that will bring back light to my life of misery? Did I come face to face with a dream that lived inside for eternity? Moments of joy please don't change to sadness Moments of peace don't turn out to be another war As I feel you coming closer to me. Glimpse of an angel
An angel looked towards me I couldn’t help but turn my face around.
I feared gazing with eyes that might steal the beauty only to be damned.
I felt my undead soul filling with life it always dreamt of but never had.
Just glimpsing at your face I dived in dreams to wake up in no mans land.
Your smile brought back the warmth of hope and the feeling that I belong.
Your voice went shivering down my spine and brought sensations of divine.
When I saw you my breath was taken creating a moment of endless time.
Boiling Blood ran down my veins pounding into the ice cold heart of mine.
Suddenly all my pain and hurt faded away, mending the cracks along the way.
Your smell made me want to cry, your eyes drove me out of my solitary mind.
Just seeing you for seconds I was trapped for hours lost inside my own mind.
It made me wonder if it’s the first time I feel this or is it the same every time
Could it be love at first sight or was my soul yours in some other life & time.
Your name always seemed familiar carved deep on the walls of my tortured heart.
Will I ever love you or will I never; I just wish and hope I will love you forever. Moments of a lonely Night
A hooded sky preventing any stream of light trying to swift through.
A falling tear marking its way on the face burning like a drop of acid.
A hunted mind still wondering what’s going on and why luck has ran out.
A stranded soul drowning in seas of loneliness and dark visions of tomorrow.
A confusing flood of ideas trying to find a way to explain what happened .
A broken thought that keeps covering the happiness that once flourished within.
A bitter fracture of betrayal pierces and cuts deep into the skin.
A hiding Evil collecting hate & manipulating memories.
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A Sudden awakening of the tortured heavenly soul wavering Darkness leaking within.
A white pleading to forgive them sneaking out from the sparse heart.
A hopeful call for prayer breaks the silence & Alas of early dawn .
A broken smile finds its way out of the fields of pain hoping for all the cold to fade away.
A warming stream of peace murders the grudge overwhelming body and mind.
A tender Nostalgia replacing the painful hate leading to destruct.
A happy dream coloring the sky with rays from the winter sun. Good bye may seem for ever*We met, it seems, such a short time ago You looked at me, needing me so Yet from your sadness Our happiness grew And I found out I needed you too I remember how we used to play I recall those rainy days The fire's glow That kept us warm And now I find we're both alone Goodbye may seem forever Farewell is like the end But in my heart's a memory And there you'll always be unrequited loveSwallowed pain tears from the inside;
A blurry mirror steals a picture and never reflects back ,
A word of madness burns the soul trapped deep inside,
The grievous desire growing till it can’t fit inside immolating its incubative throwing it to the edge of explosion,
Jealousy pitching a solitary soul in unpredicted surges,
The pleadings has been there for so long that they can’t be recognized anymore,
A mauling dream of passion rejected
Inflicting a martyr unable to control his cambium
A yarning for withdrawal piercing a demon of hidden agony and fear
Begging please to ease the burial he’s imprisoned within. Taking time to healCatching the patterns of light that swims across my hand like silver fish swimming under the clear water shining in the sunlight Can you ?Can I stay beside you all my life?
Would you promise me that we will always be together?
Can you promise me that you won’t forget me?
You are my addiction of life and my piece and harmony
You are the war that burns inside of me
You are my pain and pleasure
and the song of dismay living inside of me
Can you promise me that life won’t rip us apart?
Can you promise?
Can you explain what has happened to me?
Is that forbidden, or is your heart meant to be for someone else?
Yes I would sacrifice and hide if the prize is your happiness
And the price is my pain.
If that is called madness then I’m Insane. Well thats meSun in Pisces:
The flowering of compassion, through your ability to merge on a feeling level and to empathize with all, is a key theme for you in this lifetime. This propensity to share others' emotional experience has both its blessings and its deficits. At your finest, Anas, you have a deeply-felt understanding of human nature which goes beyond words or intellect, and which enables you to forgive others' misdeeds and make allowances for their weaknesses. You are acutely aware of others' pain, including the emotional wounds and brokenness they carry within, and your ability to listen with an understanding heart and to unconditionally accept people as they are can be a healing influence in their lives. You are inclined to exclude nobody. At a deep level you feel and know your oneness with all creatures, and thus every snail in the garden or stray cat is part of your "heart's family". However, this same all-embracing emotional/psychic openness and receptivity can be the source of some of your greatest challenges in life. It is easy for you to become overwhelmed by the world and its sorrows, and to seek some form of escape from it and from your own extreme sensitivity; for instance, over using drugs or alcohol or even food to alter your mood, or retreating from life into the unreal world of television or other diversions. You may simply withdrawing into your own private fantasies to avoid confronting the challenges in the physical world. At its worst this tendency can devolve into evasiveness and playing ostrich "about important issues in your life". While your imagination and your sensitivity are the well spring of some of your richest experiences and gifts, if over indulged you may become passive, ineffectual, lost or confused. Especially when young, Anas, you may lack a strong sense of self, of definition and identity, because on a feeling level you identify with others so easily. It can be difficult for you to separate yourself, to know what your boundaries are, when to say no or how to stand up for your own personal interests. Since you are not narrowly focused on self, others may take advantage of your natural generosity and sympathy. Learning and incorporating the concepts of discrimination and clear judgment will enable you to give of yourself in ways that are healthy for you and the ones you are giving to Murdered Hope
^InFiNiTy*It’s not easy to be caught in an empty circle, it takes some good effort and a strong will to break out ,but once you do, you look down to where you were , you see all the things you did that lead you into it,and kept you going around and around helpess ,lost and not knowing how to breakout, but once you do, You’ll feel and see things so different from when you were inside because inside to see the openyou’re blinded doors to freedom that comes from saying NO, and creation that comes from letting go. even if you love these stuff so much and it hurts to let go but taking the pain in one dosage in a short period of time is better than taking it slowly and keep doing it for years. Yah it is hard to let go but believe me it’s the best thing someone can do in some cases when things get too heavy and so hard to handle when pain is much more than pleasure, the two extremes on the same scale that control our actions the most.
Stay above hate and grudges envy and jealousy when you reach this level you taste infinity and comfort, think of people in a good way See the world in a grain of sand see heaven in a wild flower hold infinity in the palm of your hand and eternity in an hour. Here we are so small, so far we are lost in space without faith so deep in our mind we turn to the light. Life has its own way of paying people back either what they did was good or bad every action you take will have a repercussion in the future, and you have to live with the consequences of your own actions. Thank the ones who did you wrong and the ones who tried to hurt you because an enemy is a teacher in disguise; what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger What you don’t appreciate and reject will cause you regret, appreciate what you have and feel satisfied and happy. Find the balance between ambitions and satisfaction Let go of all the things that make you feel bad . Where will you goYou’re too important for anyone
You play the role of all you long to be But I, I know who you really are You’re the one who cries when you’re alone But where will you go With no one left to save you from yourself You can’t escape You can’t escape You think that I can’t see right through your eyes Scared to death to face reality No one seems to hear your hidden cries You’re left to face yourself alone I realize you’re afraid But you can’t abandon everyone You can’t escape You don’t want to escape I’m so sick of speaking words that no one understands Is it clear enough that you can’t live your whole life all alone I can hear you when you whisper But you can’t even hear me screaming I realize you’re afraid But you can’t reject the whole world You can’t escape You won’t escape You can’t escape You don’t want to escape
Evanescence |
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so I am a sheep by choice baa2 baaa2 lol .. been a sheep since forever just what changed is that in the past I used to dream that I'll have courage to break chains .. now I settled with what's the "norm" whatever that is .. it's suffocating when u're a sheep that sees and understands .. the rest of the pack doesn't .. there's no difference between u and the rest .. but u know that u're different .. *sigh* a good friend of mine have what I lack .. and that's courage .. sometimes she gets overwhelmed with pressure and thinks of givin' in and be another sheep .. :/ My heart stops whenevr she gets that disperate .. and no matter how much I tell her that she'll die the minute she decides to comprimise with what she knows her life is .. I don't think she gets that I'm afraid she becomes like me .. :( I think I'll be more sorry for her than for myself if she decided to join the pack .. ofcourse u have nothing to do with this .. bas enta mo 9adeeqy ?:P :P I'll afadfid here .. lol told u writing is like an addictive poison .. 
!! c i told u i leave u a msg
!! hun u r so amzing and i thank u very much for all u have done for me !! u have saved my life a couple times and for that im very thank full!!! man i need to send u some of my song lyrics so u can read them
i could not ask for a better friend like u, u mean the world to me and i thank u for been my friend |
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