The best experience in the world is leaving all the worries and responsibilities of the city for a couple of days and enjoying the luxury of a private island and being away from people and everything but nature, thanks  to everyone who was responsible for this trip and for everyone who came and everyone who did anything including sinking the car in the sea shore mud although it was a hard experience of intensive labor and a tow days job  but it’s still amazing and the only thing I missed  was  fishing  on the boat because of the car thing but yeah we used nets. so next time it will be better hopefully. 

In the dim light of the candle I gaze, staring at a mirror reflecting your face 

My fingers run in the warmth of waxed glaze, counting the five long years phase

Since you left I see life in different ways, I remain uncertain and lost in this maze  

I recall the last profound words of all the treasures you left me to raise

As days pass I undergo nothing novel instead live with lessons you used to portray

Like this candle you were the light the warmth to guide my stray

 Warm tears run down my face as I wonder where there warmth had strayed

Every day goes by my eyes open wide to realize what you went through and had to pay

Oh dear father the soul is aching to feel your love just one last time in vain

No words are enough to repay the debt; no regret is enough to express the pain

I feel your presence in my thoughts, my dreams and heart every day

So I become certain your alive through my voice my face

Till my life takes its sealed path and fades away.

I found out today that I have an anonymous fan for my site lol so I promised to post some photos for update and don’t get scared because of the green algae tank  I don’t grow it to use for sushi its only an experiment and it would make a good healthy natural source of food for my fish specially that they are sick and if u noticed the water is dark that’s because its full of medicine to treat ICH/ICK  

Catching the patterns of light that swims across my hand like silver fish swimming under the clear water shining in the sunlight
I try and touch them slippery they move too quickly like time; slipping away like my petal design of fate as the flower of faith falls apart withered drops to the ground without a sound, shattered clock and missing time… I’m late again…
Try to be on time but it takes me hours to write this line it seems time slows down and increases in speed without my knowledge… I’m so lost and confused hoping to find the current or the flow of which way everyone seems to go… how does everyone but me know?
Procrastinating in my empty shell of lost thoughts and empty faithless time watching the meaningless seconds ticking by… how time learnt to fly… I haven’t understood the complexity of my wings… my broken dreams… mocking me as they lie… inanimate objects on the floor… my cobble stoned path… destructed and thwarted by meaningless lies of hopeless hopes and dreamless dreams
Water the seeds of doubt that are strewn and scattered across the ground… watch them grow faster than the speed of light and sound… and the path is blocked… darkness… and suddenly artificial light… is that the sick joke of humanity… Turning on the switch of insanity…
Governed by meaningless tasks… I forget what I believe and what I follow… lost my direction lost my heart lying dying bloodless on the floor when I watched the painless unsoiled souls walk out my door
Seeing spirits and clinically insane they scratch and poke inside my dead brain… I don’t feel the pain… wandering a void vessel… squandering useless life… wasted, too tainted to be pure…
Running out of time I search for the cure try to stop you from walking out the door… you are my last hope… my only hope… to try and change… you have given me the key to unlock the chains… step by step teaching me to fly… you’ve tried and fell but you wont stop coz we both seek the cure and together we’ll find it…
Our timeless promise… as I watch the seconds ticking by… I try to combat the wasted time… contemplating, my next move… taking time to heal… with you by my side, we learn how to deal, have hope and faith, slowly we learn how to heal…

It’s not easy to be caught in an empty circle, it takes some good effort and a strong will to break out ,but once you do, you look down to where you were , you see all the things you did that lead you into it,and kept you going around and around helpess ,lost and not knowing how to breakout, but once you do,

 You’ll feel and see things so different from when you were inside because inside to see the openyou’re blinded  doors to freedom that comes from saying NO, and creation that comes from letting go. even if you love these stuff so much and it hurts to let go but taking the pain in one dosage in a short period of time is better than taking it slowly and keep doing it for years.

 Yah it is hard to let go  but believe me it’s the best thing someone can do in some cases when things get too heavy and so hard to handle when pain is much more than pleasure, the two extremes on the same scale that control our actions the most.

Stay above hate and grudges envy and jealousy when you reach this level you taste infinity and comfort, think of people in a good way

See the world in a grain of sand see heaven in a wild flower hold infinity in the palm of your hand and eternity in an hour.

Here we are so small, so far we are lost in space without faith so deep in our mind we turn to the light.

 Life has its own way of paying people back either what they did was good or bad every action you take will have a repercussion in the future, and you have to live with the consequences of your own actions.

Thank the ones who did you wrong and the ones who tried to hurt you because an enemy is a teacher in disguise; what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger

What you don’t appreciate and reject will cause you regret, appreciate what you have and feel satisfied and happy.

Find the balance between ambitions and satisfaction

Let go of all the things that make you feel bad .